
To be transparent, I never in a million years thought my family would gather in a little Midwest town for a family vacation. Being in our constant southern California bubble with bi-yearly visits to Mexico, a place like Burton, Ohio, isn’t a destination we had on the list. But due to a series of events and a family member now living in this small town, thirty of us arrived with chaos in tow and an eagerness to be in a new environment together for the first time.
Something to make clear: I have a large family. A large family that feels the need to be a part of every aspect of one another’s lives year-round. Thirty of us gathering for a vacation isn’t something we aren’t accustomed to. Thirty is pretty mediocre for us. Thirty family members, and we didn’t even have everyone with us! There are cousins I wish were there, and I hope to go there with them in the future.

We have a handful of characters out of our decently average-sized group (by our standards). Some of us are adults, some of us are kids, and some of us are adults who only know how to act like kids (I am a proud adult child myself). For as long as I can remember, family time has equaled playtime. Being surrounded by so many cousins growing up, we were constantly running around, disappearing from our parents while they all sat around telling their stories and investing in each other’s plots, only to reappear hours later to ask for food (aka fuel to recharge the mayhem).
That same pattern exists today. Now, those who were the kids playing until injuries and accidents are the ones sitting around the fire pit or dinner table while their kids are off being appropriately reckless. The generations of tios, tias, primas, and primos just keep on coming. We are never shy of children in this family. This is great for me because I don’t plan on having children, but I sure do love having kids around to love and play with. This goes back to my adult-child syndrome.
Anyway, back to the trip itself...
We spent one week in Ohio and soaked up every last moment. We started with a day of kayaking down a river and followed it up with a BBQ by the pool. The next day was filled with a road trip through Pennsylvania and upstate New York to Niagara Falls, where we got on a boat with blue ponchos and saw the most epic waterfalls up close.
Some other activities that filled our time:
Horseback riding around the farmhouse where everyone was staying
Riding the ATV around the farmhouse
Driving into Cleveland - 27 Club Coffee
Visiting the cute little town that is Chagrin Falls
Cooking giant family dinners at the farmhouse (I didn’t cook, but I did eat damn good, so shout out to the fam for that)
And spending almost every night sitting around the fire outside, recalling memories, laughing, and doing what we do best as a family - talking shit.
And with family time comes... Reflection.
What insight did I gain from this experience?
Over the years, my relationship with my family has been on a very bumpy rollercoaster ride. Because we are all so close and involved in each other’s lives, I have had to decipher what parts of my character result from family conditioning and what parts are me on my own as someone experiencing this life for the first time.
It can also be hard to feel fully seen when there are so many of us and, with that, so many differences between each of us. With large groups comes diversity, which is my favorite part about family. Yet, with so much diversity, there come things such as inevitable biases and judgments and blah blah blah. You know, family baggage stuff. Luckily, I am a yogi and determined to constantly seek growth through self-study and acknowledgment of my actions and my part in the bigger picture. What used to feel unbearably overwhelming in family settings is now only mildly overwhelming. This is because I look at my family members and remember one very important thing: they are all experiencing their own life in their own way for the first time as well. None of us have the answers, and none of us know exactly what we are doing at every given moment. As weird as it sounds, that brings me peace.
Sure, my family calls me the “hippy cousin” because I am a yoga teacher and because of my yogic lifestyle. And they like to give me a hard time because I want to go to bed by 10 pm (at the latest!!), while they like to stay up until 3 am. And I also have my own views that sometimes get in the way of seeing things without judgment. But the reality is, this giant group of absurdly obnoxious people are also the same people who have loved me for the past 31 years while I have experienced so many different versions of myself. And my bets are on the assumption that they are going to be the ones that stick around for the rest of it all, even if they give me shit the whole time.
So, my big aha moment reflection: I am blessed. A giant family overflowing with chaos isn’t so much a problem as it is a gift. I don’t have to be understood by everyone all of the time. That is what friends are for. When it comes to family, it is more of a root chakra sensation. It is a feeling of safety. It’s a feeling of “I have your back, you have my back, we are all here on this planet together for a reason.” It is a bond of blood and a bond of generational trauma made beautiful by the ways in which we continue to learn and grow through it. Boundaries are important, and balance is vital. But knowing I am a part of something that keeps expanding and evolving feels damn special. And family trips are essential!!!

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